40 by 40

Today, I turn 39.  There is a lot of goodness that comes from aging.  I am not one to fear it or be embarrassed by my age.  But it does make me want to be intentional with my days.  Emily Lex inspired me to make a 40 by 40 list.  So in no particular order, here it is.

  1. Only buy clothes that are exceptional, long lasting and timeless/capsule wardrobe
  2. Sleep in real pjs every night—not T-shirts
  3. Read a book to understand the Enneagram
  4. Begin thinking about writing a book
  5. Take a trip for our 10th anniversary
  6. Read a book a month
  7. Be more intentional about quiet times
  8. Deepen friendships with church community
  9. Try a new fitness class—barre or orange theory?
  10. Move homes for more yard space
  11. Invest in a “third income” property of some sort
  12. Find a way to budget for an original piece of art
  13. Take more weekend naps
  14. Stop relying on benedryl to sleep
  15. Meal plan for a whole month
  16. Figure out how to not wash my hair for 3 days AND not have to use a ponytail on day 3
  17. Find a lip gloss I like
  18. Up my teeth flossing game
  19. Buy family stationary
  20. Reduce my grocery bill
  21. Find a red wine worthy of the designation “house red.”
  22. Figure out how to be a bourbon drinker
  23. Have at least one date a month with Scott
  24. Go downtown for dinner so as not to lose ALL knowledge of what is hip and cool
  25. Take rosemary to the new central library (she has been, I have not)
  26. Cut our refined sugar for a month
  27. Read every day to Rosemary even when she says, “no no.”
  28. Only make amazon purchases once a week (add to the cart and wait to hit “buy”)
  29. Figure out work/life balance
  30. Clean out my home office to reduce the clutter
  31. Clean out my jewelry and make needed repairs
  32. Figure out how to keep citrus trees alive
  33. Create a system for printing photos
  34. Update displayed family pictures
  35. Frame Rosemary’s birth announcement
  36. Catch up on This Is Us
  37. Say “no” more often so I can say “yes” to the good stuff
  38. Eat dinner without the TV on
  39. Discover 5 new music artists
  40. Give more of my homemade bread away

Here’s to having 365 days to get this stuff DONE.

One year.

I love being Rosemary’s momma, even on the hard days.  I love rescuing her from bed in the morning with her big smile, immediate conversation and outstretched arms.  I love when she shoves most of an entire banana in her mouth.  I love that she really eats meat more than anything else.  (She is hearty.)  I love that she shows excitement by twirling her ankles and wrists.  I love that she is very interested in people, especially kids, but is pretty shy.  I love that she clings to me when strangers talk to her and while the coffee is grinding.  I love that she listens for the garage door and anticipates who might walk in the door (Daddy!).  I love that she holds objects to her ear to talk on the phone.  I love that she discovers items by twisting them around and around.  I love that she twirls from a sitting position, getting a 365 degree view of the world around her.  I love that her first word was “hi.”  I love that her happy place is the bathtub and outside.  I love how she finds the satin on the blanket while taking her bottle and then sleeps on top of her blanket consistently.  I love that she prays with me when I pray over her at night.  I love that she shrieks for Daddy.  I love that her daddy and I are her people.  Being someone’s person is such a pleasure.  It comes in a few ways in life; none have been more satisfying to me than through motherhood.

Photo credit: the Great Karis Martin

I know that motherhood was not promised to me. It was to Sara (of Abraham and Sara) but not to me.  That was one of my biggest worries.  What if I was not intended to be a mother?  In some respects I feel like God provided for us in a similarly dramatic way as with Abraham and Sara.  I am so very thankful for His faithfulness throughout the journey.  It has made me compassionate towards those wanting to have children and finding their way.  We each have our own way.

My prayer for Rosemary is that God grows her to be strong, smart, kind and gracious.  I pray that she knows and is known.  That she peeks long, long after high school.  That she is supported and understood.  That she walks in the ways of Jesus.

In these 365 days, our lives have been enriched by this little person profoundly.  We haven’t eaten out as much…. or slept in….or been spontaneous….those things will return sometime.  But for now, experiencing Rosemary Drake Buchholtz discover the world, is pure joy.

Happy birthday, sweet girl.  You make your momma and daddy so very, very grateful.

Photo credit: the Great Karis Martin

Surprises about motherhood

You know how young love is dreamy. Where you can’t stop talking or thinking about this new person in your life that makes everything appear like butterflies and rainbows? That’s life with Rosemary. I had no idea it would be like that. I thought we would trudge through the first year or so, bleary-eyed and enduring the hard parts of parenthood. Instead, I am surprised to say that even the hard days are good. It is just such a pleasure to be Rosemary’s mom. To be called Mom. To know her every move and tendency. To dress her and cuddle her. To calm a cry and to get her up in the morning. I just love the whole experience. I did not expect for parenthood to be weighted so heavily towards wonderful.

Coffee turns cold faster than before parenthood.   I don’t know why that happens but I am fine drinking it that way. Now I understand why my sister pounds coffee so fast. There just is not too much time to savor coffee.

I am surprised by how uninterested I am in leaving my house. It’s like this peaceful, happy place where our little family of three simply, peacefully exists. We have everything we need there. Venturing out means preparation and packing. Not much is worth that. I am shocked that I would be that mom. I thought I would be crawling the walls, dragging Rosemary everywhere. We do get out but home is so great.

I love sleep. I need sleep. I think about sleep a lot. And I am getting some sleep. But it surprises me that my favorite time with Rosemary is in the middle of the night. She sleeps through the night a lot but sometimes wakes between 4-5 to eat. She goes right back down. But she is then up early, especially on weekends it seems. But middle of the night and early morning time is by far, the most tender, sweet time with my girl. I don’t mind.

These surprises are sweet reminders that we may think we have things all figured out (I certain think I do) but we really don’t know what each stage will be until we are there. I am grateful for these blessed days. They are not easy days. There are plenty of challenges. But I would not change it for the world.

Oh!  And we have kept Rosemary Drake Buchholtz alive for half a year.  Scott and I are grateful for the help in doing so.  We need all the help we can get.  Happy half, Rosie Drake!

Three months of Rosemary.

Its official.  We have kept a small human alive for an entire quarter.  We feel quite accomplished.  This little girl has captured our hearts completely.  And if fat cheeks and thighs are signs of thriving, this girl is living large.


Rosemary discovered her hands and eats them with great urgency.  She learned to smile and that melts us. She has quite a lot to say in a language primarily consisting of “oohs” and some growling.  She plays on the floor and grabs hold of loops and shiny things from her activity gym.


Her best trick is sleeping.  She pretty much sleeps from 7 to 7.  Its like she knew that she could win us over by valuing sleep as much as we do.  She is very advanced…


And going back to work has actually been okay!  I love work and the time passes so quickly I hardly have time to be sad.  The anticipation of returning was definitely worse than actually doing so.  I felt the prayers of all of you who have prayed for me.  I stare at my phone waiting for a picture to come through while in meetings and I beeline to Rosemary after work, but so far, so good.  Its not easy, but its good.

P.S. Rosemary came home from the hospital in the same outfit she is wearing in these pictures (the monogram came later).  Think she has grown much?